i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
