before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
then he tried to convert me to islam
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
