no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
