I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
