after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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