oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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