ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I AM VODKA MAN
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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