she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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