i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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