I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
