Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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