I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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