doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
there was a trapeze. enough said
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
