chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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