sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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