I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
