I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
