No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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