She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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