he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
its not stalking. its research.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We need to rekindle our bromance
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
