Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
