So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
