Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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