You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
