he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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