Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
