her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
