My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
