Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
