I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
