I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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