I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
