we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
