You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
