but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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