is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
