4 words: hood of his car
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
