Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
