So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
