A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
