feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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