dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
