Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
