Having a random hookup so left but love u
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
