Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
