when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
