Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
