I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
