yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
