oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
